Wednesday, November 25, 2015

DECEMBER 2ND! MARK YOUR CALENDARS!

October Syndrome goes live on AMAZON on December 2nd!

Check out an excerpt on this fun new series as it kicks off -- right in time for Christmas (*ahem* good stocking stuffer *ahem*)




Grab an excerpt below!

Book One of the October Series kicks off with Catch and Todd Thornwacker taking on their first ghost hunting adventure!

Aided by friends Sully Chambers and Naomi Prentiss, the foursome quickly realize they may have bitten off more than they can chew inside the former residence of an infamous murderer. 

Teen angst, unrequited love, and ghostly bites await the team in OCTOBER SYNDROME!

“Can you tell what they’re talking about?” Todd had finished off his M&Ms and trail mix and was starting on a bag of Twizzlers. How he kept so skinny and ate so much was a mystery.

            “Maybe they’re getting cold feet. Sully looked a little freaked, right?”

            Todd shrugged. “I hadn’t noticed. Then again, I have noticed you’ve barely taken your eyes off of her.”

            “What?”

            “You can deny it all you want, Captain Denial, but you’ve been making googly eyes at her all night.”

            Catch scoffed. “Googly eyes? She’s fifteen, Todd. I’m seventeen—”

            “Is two years so much?”

            Catch couldn’t believe this conversation was happening. “Toddy, do me a favor and butt out of my love life.”

            “What love life?” Catch smacked him on the back of the head. “Come on, what serious girlfriend have you had, like, ever?”

            “For your information, Sandy Bayless drew a picture of me once.”

            “Sandy Bayless drew a picture of you? Why?”

            Catch’s frustration was building. He rubbed his face and grumbled.

            “Why’d she draw a picture of you, Jonah?

            “Maybe she dug me.” Though saying it out loud suddenly seemed absurd. Sandy Bayless was homecoming queen. And she had been tied to the hip with the quarterback of the football team since freshman year.

            “It’s not easy being a Thornwacker, is it? Even if you’re a wrestling star.”

            Catch recalled the times he was teased in school for his parents’…hobby. The yelling, the name-calling. The word freak had followed him until he joined the wrestling team in junior high—and won. Every. Single. Match.


            That’s where he and Todd differed. Todd embraced being an outcast. He embraced all the weirdness that went along with being Mary and Sebastian’s Thornwacker offspring. Catch preferred being the normal guy…who happened to chase the paranormal at night. 




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DECEMBER 2nd!!! #OCTOBERSYNDROME #NEWSERIES

Saturday, November 21, 2015

LANA MOON'S new YA series starts off with a bang!



OCTOBER SYNDROME: an action-packed trip into the world of Catch and Todd Thornwacker -- brothers, best friends, and ghost hunters!

High school wrestling star Jonah “Catch” Thornwacker dives into the paranormal like a haunted young man. But nothing haunts him more than freshman Sully Chambers.

Todd Thornwacker is driven by candy-coated fantasy with a gentleman’s edge—so of course he’s game for any adventure…especially if there are ladies present.

Since she was a child, Sully Chambers has been drawn to the dark and dreary Victorian mansion called Croft House. On Halloween night, she arrives to investigate with best friends Naomi and Todd...and her childhood crush, Catch. But nothing can prepare her for what she’ll uncover once the investigation begins.

As the night progresses, the team realizes they are not alone—and the grisly past of Croft House is coming back to life with a vengeance!

***
Available exclusively on Amazon!

SERIES EDITED BY STACY DOYLE

Thursday, October 8, 2015

OCTOBER SYNDROME -- Meet the Characters!

The next move in this YA transition is to kick off a brand new paranormal young adult series!



After a lot of ups and downs, my editor Stacy and I are putting some finishing touches on October Syndrome!

Oh yes! The adventures of ghost hunting brothers Catch and Todd Thornwacker is about to start!


To celebrate this new series, here's an in-depth look at the characters!!!


CATCH THORNWACKER! 
The elder Thornwacker brother -- he's 17, athletic, fun-loving, and his passion for the paranormal knows no bounds. Despite being popular, his best friend is actually Todd -- his quintessential geeky little brother. While Catch may have his eyes on a cheerleader, he can't help but be charmed by former nerd Sully Chambers.  



TODD THORNWACKER
Younger bro Todd often lives in Catch's shadow. Unbelievably intelligent and sharp-witted, Todd is wise beyond his 15 years. He's hopelessly in love with Sully Chambers...and the fact that she only has eyes for Catch is just one more reason the brothers spar. 



URSULA "SULLY" CHAMBERS! 
Sully has been in love with Catch Thornwacker for years, but she's also deeply drawn to the paranormal -- which greatly annoys BFF Naomi. Like Todd, Sully's a freshman and very intelligent. She hopes Catch notices her someday, but her current aggravation is that her older sister is dating her best friend. Oh, high school. 



NAOMI PRENTISS! 
Sophomore Naomi is a quick-witted, strong-willed, and fiercely independent young woman. She knows who she is and knows who she loves -- namely Sully's sister -- but Naomi's there in a hot minute for her BFF. 
...Which is why, despite her profound apprehension, Naomi agrees to accompany Sully and the Thornwacker brothers on a ghost hunt. 


+++


HAMPIRE is 99 cents to download -- free if you have Kindle Unlimited!


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#ghosthunters #youngadult #teenageromance #hauntedhouse #October #Halloween #OctoberSeries #TheThornwackers





Monday, September 21, 2015

#SummerOfHampire RELEASE 9-25-15

#Hampire is live!!!



Need another excerpt? Check this one out!


            “Sarah, my dear? Is that you?”
            Julian’s voice made me jump. My back bumped against the front door. The familiar click of the door locking behind me… I tried to open it, but it wouldn’t budge.
How did he—
            “I’ll be with you in just a moment.”
            His voice was warm, charming, and almost friendly…with just a touch of something wicked.
            “No, I’ll come back—”
            “Nonsense.”
            He was suddenly standing underneath Mrs. LeGrange. His dark hair was smoothed back. He had black pants on. Black shoes. And a white shirt that had too many buttons undone.
            Again, it was as if he read my mind. “I see you’re more pleased with this attire than the previous.” He descended the stairs and in seconds was right in front of me.
            God, he even smelled good.
            “You look like a pirate.” I said nervously.
            He grinned. “Not a pirate. A vampire.” He flashed his teeth. 




+++

Get ready for Friday!!! #99cents for #Hampire!

AVAILABLE NOW:
Kindle 99 CENTS!
Paperback: $5.99 

#vampires #teenagers #newadult #halloween #witch #shortstory #amazon #SummerOfHampire

Monday, August 17, 2015

HAMPIRE: A (SORTA) PREVIEW!

We're just weeks away from the release of Hampire: A (Sorta) Love Story!



Get to know plucky (but unlucky in love) Sarah!

Sarah Smith is having a rough week. High school is over. She doesn't have a job, a boyfriend, or any future plans--and her two flighty friends are suddenly the responsible ones. 

But her luck may be changing after she lands a job at a rustic museum...and finds something more valuable than history lurking in the basement. #Hampire

+++


“Sarah?” A familiar face peaked outside the glass door to the patio. It was Gash.
            Mom opened the door. “Sidney, do you know how to use the front door?”
            She regarded Nannette’s question like a riddle. “It takes away the element of surprise.”
            I stepped around Mom. “We’ll be just outside.”
            I could hear her murmuring to herself…probably her disappointment that I hadn’t somehow managed to get rid of the two friends I had for people more Nannette-like.
            “Is your mom still riding your ass?”
            “Not so much anymore—I got a job!”
            “No shit! That’s great! Super-Ups or somewhere else?”
            At least Gash never lacked enthusiasm. “I’m working at the old museum on Main Street. Night shift duty.”
            She pulled out a cigarette and lit it. “See? Things always work out.”
            I nodded, then ushered Gash away from the glass—away from Nannette’s sight. “Yeah, and now if I could just get cooler friends, things might work out.”
            “Cooler friends? What’s wrong with me? Beej is tiring, but I’m totes awesome.”
            I decided to deflect. “Maybe if I had a guy friend around…”
            “Well, that’s probably a good idea. I mean, you’ve never had a boyfriend—”
            “Hey!”
            “Come on! I’m not being an ass. And it’s not as if you haven’t tried...”
Twice—and only twice—I ventured out on a date. The first was with Powell Gardner. He was beautiful. He was on the football team. His arms were like two big slabs of meat. And he asked me, plain Sarah Smith, to go out with him. I couldn’t believe it.
So, one night we went to Applebee’s.
            Gash and Bennie spent an hour dolling me up. They were both impressed that Powell Gardner—king of high school—took notice in me. It was like a Cinderella story, only it was mine.
            Then, an hour after our entrees arrived (I had the bourbon chicken; he had the sampler platter), he got quiet. He started to sweat. I barely had the courage to talk to him in school, and suddenly I was trying to find a classy way of asking what was wrong. But then he blurted it out.
            “I’m sorry, I can’t do this.” He said, drops of sweat falling off his face and onto what remained of his chicken wings. “It’s not you—I mean, honestly, it’s not you.” He laughed softly. “It’s…it’s Mitch. I love him. I thought I could just make myself...” He looked at me and started to cry. “Oh, God! Mitch!”
            The date was over. At school, Powell ignored me entirely. He came out the summer before our senior year. He seemed happy. So did Mitch.
            I was humiliated, but it had only been one date. I could get over one bad date.
            Will Simpkins had asked me out in the fall. He was quiet, but sweet. He had a geeky way about him, but he was muscular and not scrawny—and muscles were always my weakness. Those meat slabs…
            I didn’t tell the girls about Will initially. I pretended like it was no big deal. Inwardly, I was nervous and excited. Being plain Sarah Smith was boring—and when a guy took notice, I would float on cloud nine for months.
            So when I met Will at the bowling alley, I thought he looked good. Tight jeans, a Star Wars t-shirt, and some nice cologne. He was sooo sweet, and he paid for my nachos.
            Then midway through our first game, he pretended to go to the bathroom. When I went to search for him, he had left a note at the refreshment stand. “Can’t do this. Still love Powell.” I never saw Will again.
            I couldn’t believe it had happened twice. Was I the safe straight girl that gay guys were drawn to? It seemed statistically impossible that gay lightning would strike twice, but it had.
            I ran to Gash’s house and cried on her bed that night.
            And that was the last time I had even remotely pretended to be interested in finding a boyfriend. Maybe luck would change after high school.

            Except I had no plan. 



+++
STAY TUNED FOR MORE RELEASE DATE INFO!!!

#Hampire #NewAdult #Horror #Paranormal #fiction

Thursday, July 16, 2015

OCTOBER SYNDROME!

Besides the campy and fun HAMPIRE (coming out late this summer!), look out for the #Halloween release of another YA horror!

October Syndrome is a fun trip into the world of Catch and Todd Thornwacker -- teen-aged brothers, best friends, and ghost hunters!



The Thornwacker brothers are on the (ghost) hunt! Get to know these characters!

*High school wrestling star Jonah “Catch” Thornwacker dives into the paranormal like a haunted young man. But nothing haunts him more than freshman Sully Chambers. 

*Todd Thornwacker is driven by candy-coated fantasy with a gentleman’s edge—so of course he’s game for any adventure…especially if there are ladies present.



THE MISSION:

Since she was a child, Sully Chambers has been drawn to the dark and dreary Victorian mansion called Croft House. On Halloween night, she arrives to investigate with best friends Naomi and Todd—and her childhood crush, Catch. But nothing can prepare her for what she’ll uncover once the investigation begins.

As the night progresses, the team realizes they are not alone—and the grisly past of Croft House is coming back to life with a vengeance! 

STAY TUNED FOR MORE DETAILS AND SOME FUN EXCERPTS!!! 

#SummerOfHampire

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

CALL ME HAMPIRE

(DISCLAIMER: HAMPIRE IS DUE TO RELEASE IN LATE SEPTEMBER 2015... THE FOLLOWING IS A SNEAK PEEK INTO THE WORLD OF THIS YA PARANORMAL ADVENTURE.)


About Hampire:

This is a really fun story -- and it is absolutely a love story.

And yes, Hampire IS a hamster-vampire. How is this possible? Well, I don't want to give too much of the plot away, but let's just say there's an uber bad curse involved.

About the characters:




Sarah is the heroine. She was named after two people. 1) A Sarah that I have literally known more than half my life, and 2) Jennifer Connolly's character in the movie Labyrinth. It's my 2nd favorite movie of all time!

Sarah is a self-described 'plain Jane' who seems to be the only one in her circle of friends who doesn't have a plan after high school. She takes a night job at a mysterious museum, and that's when the craziness begins! (Spoiler alert: There's a scary old lady and a 'creature' inside a cage involved.)



Julian is the hero, a.k.a. Hampire. Facebook actually named him! There was such strong response and participation that I think I'll repeat this again for the next story.

Julian has been a vampire since the Titanic sank (literally). When Julian meets Sarah, they immediately form a bond, but if you're thinking Twilight, think again. ;-)

This story chronicles one girl's journey coming into her own, finding love, and gaining independence. I cannot wait to share it with everyone! XO




Stay tuned for more Hampire news. Sarah and Julian are about to embark on an adventure...with hopefully better results than the Titanic.

(Labyrinth photos courtesy of TriStar)






Thursday, June 11, 2015

Moon Plugs

Something snaps inside of me when I take on more than one writing project. It's like I have a crazy mind-gasm -- and suddenly it's not just multiple writing projects I'm taking on, but brand new lifestyle projects. These, of course, are insane. And ultimately lies that will never happen.

...But because the insanity spreads quickly, here are the Top 5 lies I've told myself this week:

5 -- I'm going to start extreme couponing! Then I'll grocery shop for the entire week AND make money! If people on TV can do it, it can't be THAT hard or time consuming...

4 -- I'll just stop eating red meat entirely. I'll save money AND improve my health. ...Wait, is that dark meat Chipotle uses beef?

3 -- If coffee is cut out, I'll save money. Tea is better for my health anyway. (Ahem, Starbucks now has 6 new frappuccino flavors... DAMN IT).



2 -- I'm going to train the cats to use the toilet! There are like 5 YouTube videos about how to do this, so it can't be that difficult!



1 -- There's a Pinterest post about making your own organic tampons! Maybe I can improve their version and sell mine! #MoonPlugs



Here's hoping next week brings some clarity!

Stay tuned for more updates on HAMPIRE!

#SummerOfHampire

Friday, June 5, 2015

Summer of HAMPIRE

I'm kicking off the summer by joining a new genre indefinitely (YA!) and launching a new series in the fall!!!

This summer I'll be releasing a new book entitled Hampire!



Check out my new Facebook page for updates and insane posts about everything from Halloween to Harry Potter to my fat frack-a-lack-in' cat (he IS the real star).




ABOUT HAMPIRE:

The buzz word is out there, and the question is...what IS Hampire? Is it a vampire spoof? Is it a comedy? Is it scary? 

The answers are: HAMSTER-VAMPIRE, YES, YES, YESSSSSSS!



#frackalackin #Books #thevamps

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Lana Moon's No Good, Very Bad, Extremely Awkward, Horrendous Timing

Sometimes I wonder if there was a curse put on me as a baby. Not like a wronged fairy godmother curse i.e. Maleficent. Maybe my real fairy godmother was on sabbatical when I was born...and she sent some drunk gnome to bless me in her absence. Only instead of blessing me with spirit or merriment, the bastard cursed me with the art of stupendously bad timing. Not because I'm intentionally trying to be an asshole, but because my timing perpetually sucks.



Example: Last week a guy was sitting on a park bench listening to the radio. He had a cigarette in one hand, and as luck would have it, there was an anti-smoking commercial airing. As I was walking by, right about the part of "dangers of second hand exposure," I sniff something that makes me want to sneeze (and it wasn't smoke). I suck some air back (I'm not an attractive sneezer, especially during allergy season), only something goes wrong and I start coughing. And it's not a gentle cough. It's a gagging ridiculous display that's impossible for anyone NOT to notice. It's so bad that I have to stop on the other side of the sidewalk from said-guy and lean against a tree to recover. I'm pissed that I didn't bring my inhaler or do a double-shot of Nasonex. Alas...

The guy on the bench rolls his eyes at me.

"Seriously, lady? Seriously? I'm not even blowing smoke anywhere near you. God. This is the most dramatic generation EVER. Everything will kill you all. Everything will harm you. You should all be shocked that you survived infancy with people like me around. God."


I wanted to apologize, but would the truth even be believable? It all came down to timing. Had I been able to curb that sneeze/coughing fit for ten--no, five--seconds longer, it would have been NBD. Instead, I seemingly acted like a judgmental jerk to a stranger who was just minding his own business.

Thanks, drunk gnome. Thanks. 

It's not just a matter of a one-time Coughgate incident. Oh, no. My resume of bad timing is about a volume deep now.

My first trip to a Bed, Bath, & Beyond nearly ended in tears.

It started off fabulously. I was caught off guard by the many aisles of needless crap that I had to have: French Country scented candles, Dr. Pepper lip balm (an ode to my childhood), and zigzag parchment paper. It was a successful trip. After purchasing the items, I strolled to the elevator that led to the parking garage. Before stepping in, I heard a man and woman talking. He was miffed because someone behind him in the checkout lane had NO personal space boundaries and had been up against his back--touching him--the entire time he was buying his items.

That's a huge pet peeve for me. I stepped into the elevator and started chiming in about how people need to respect personal space, blah blah blah, but then I lost my footing...I stumbled forward...and landed directly against his gut.

He looked horrified. I gazed up at him in a full state of shock. My one hand was still clutching his shirt. My feet were still tangled together. Our bodies were pressed uncomfortably together.



"I"m so sorry!" I said.

We locked eyes. He, because he was already traumatized by the personal space attack earlier; me, because I was still holding onto him--and leaning against him. Why couldn't I let go? What the hell is wrong with me?!

"I"m so, so sorry!"

His face turned bright red. He looked like he was sweating. My whimpering apologies were only adding to his distress.

With each passing second, the awkwardness kept quadrupling. I finally managed to straighten my feet out and stand on solid ground. He jerked my hand off of his shirt immediately. I had, by all accounts, assaulted him--much more-so than the person behind him had earlier. The woman witnessing all this stood mute in horror.

Personal space plunderer, I am shamefully she.

Damn you, drunk gnome. Damn you to hell!

I periodically let a friend toy around on my phone. He changes the ringtone to different songs, which is fine. Whatever keeps it fresh, I suppose. The Ace of Base jams were beginning to date me, or so he said.

Anyway...

At a former job (ha!), we once had a morning seminar about sexual harassment. It was led by a woman who should have starred in a Lifetime move. Something like She Stood Alone, or She Said No. She was a passionate speaker who endured years of harassment by an employer which ended in a physical altercation after she tried to get him to back off. After winning her lawsuit, she now goes around the country telling her story and reminding us all that as far as we think we've come as a society, there are still indignant pieces of shit in the world.

She was much more poignant than how I'm describing her. We were all awe struck by her bravery as she told painful and cringe-worthy parts of her story with a straight face. She inspired others not to suffer in silence, and to be strong women (and men--cause it happens to them, too) in the workplace.

Which made what happened next all the worse...



At a particularly inappropriate moment (READ: a huge emotional impact point), someone's phone starts ringing. Loudly. And it's not just a run-of-the-mill ringtone, but Salt-N-Pepa's Let's Talk About Sex. We all gaze around at each other like deer caught in headlights. My boss looks like bullets were going to fly out of her eyes.

Who would have the nerve to have THAT song as their ringtone during a sexual harassment seminar? And who's the dumbass that didn't turn their damn phone off?? 

Slowly, people were discreetly checking their purses/pockets. A co-worker looked at me with disgust, and I nodded in agreement. Then she pointed toward the purse next to my feet. My purse.

"All the good times, and the bad times...that may be" was radiating out of my Kate Spade knock-off.



I wanted to die.

I hit decline and turned it on silent immediately. The entire room, including the poignant speaker, stared daggers into me. "I'm so sorry," I whispered. 

After the seminar was over, I approached the brave speaker to apologize again. She was gracious. She was forgiving.

Before I left, though, she whispered "Mistakes happen...just be sure you aren't part of the problem in the workplace." 

Mother fucking gnome.

With any luck, I'll have enough material for volume two of bad timing before the summer's over.


+++

Purgatory goes live 5/20!!! Stay tuned!!!




Monday, May 11, 2015

THE TRILOGY COMETH, THE TRILOGY ENDETH

This is a big week! Purgatory, the last installment to the diary trilogy, goes live on May 20th!!!!



If that isn't exciting enough, Rapture will be FREE to download again on Friday, May 15th!

AND... Genesis will be FREE to download Wed (5/14), Thur (5/14), and Fri (5/15). MARK YOUR KINDLE CALENDARS!



Don't have a Kindle? No problem! Just download the FREE KINDLE APP on your device!

Please join me as I say goodbye to this series. Check out one of my favorite chapters from Genesis below!!!


Check out the grim 2nd installment of E.M. Bryant's diary trilogy. Has Fr. Jaco always been a madman? 


Excerpt:
July 4, 1991

Polly stayed until this morning. She left before the grand Fourth of July luncheon. It was just as well. The children didn’t know what the hell was going on. They were marching around with red, white, and blue scarves, not really paying any attention except that the weather was hot and they were being forced to march around outside. I couldn’t blame them, though it was fun to see Mary cursing under her breath at the heat. She should suffer, just as any insufferable bitch should suffer.

I heard her take a call for Donovan after the luncheon. This caller put a chill to my spine. “Fr. Donovan,” she sang at him. She sang at him like a canary that needed to be choked! “That man is on the phone for you again.”

“What man?” Donovan was too lazy to get up from his desk, so he took to just shouting to her from inside his office.

“His name is Derrick.”

I froze.

I wanted to listen. But that bitch had her eyes on me and shut me out.

“Can I help you, Fr. Jaco?”

“The man on the phone for Donovan, who is he?”

“Why do you ask?”

God, I hated her!

“You said his name was Derrick?”

“Do you know any Derricks, Fr. Jaco?” A strange smirk appeared on her face. I felt ill.


What if I had to flee in the middle of the night? Could I do it? Where would I go?



+++



And now for something COMPLETELY different! Check out other works by Lana Moon! Love stories in heat!



Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Lana Moon Vs. Public Restrooms (A Frightening Tale of Survival)

There are three stalls in the ladies' room. Three. I occupy the one at the end for a quick break.





The door opens. Footsteps enter. The other two stalls are empty. And yet, this stranger immediately chooses the stall right next to mine. 

This baffles me, and my bladder tightens. 

Maybe there was something bad in the other stall. Maybe this middle stall is her "safety" zone. Whatever the contemplation, my fear is heightened when a hand is suddenly reaching underneath my stall...dangerously close to my leg. 

"Hey," the extremely irritating stall-neighbor says. "There's no toilet paper in here. Grab me some, would ya?"

Her demanding tone is annoying. Her tact is nonexistent. But to get her to stop talking and remove her hand, I grab about 20 ft of 1-ply toilet paper (standard in most public restrooms) and give it to her. 



She removes her hand and goes about her business. Then she begins whistling. It's the kind of whistling that reminds me of a horror flick where some guy gets stabbed by a whistling psycho while he's on the pot.

I have entered hell.

Some people envision hell as a giant fire-pit with devils dancing around it. Mine is being trapped in a stall next to Whistlin' Wendy with a terrified (and very full) bladder. And yet the fun has only just begun. 

While my business is the most simplistic (a.k.a. a cup of water too many), her business is graphic, violent, and seemingly unending. 

I try to focus. Just pee and get the hell out of here! 

But then...

"Fuck!" She exclaims. "I guess that breakfast burrito wasn't the best choice." She pats the way-too-thin barrier between us as if to pat my shoulder. At this point, my bladder is so frightened it has retreated up to my neck. "Grab me some more toilet paper, please." 

The hand returns. It's greedy. The long fingers are desperately reaching around. I pull more paper maniacally from the roll and hand it to her. 

At this point, I'm considering giving her the entire roll. The *entire* roll for freedom--for her to finish this road of revulsion and leave. Then a phone starts ringing. She answers it. My horror increases. 

"I'm in the shitter. What's up?" 

At this point, I have to make a crucial decision. Stay in hopes the madwoman leaves, or exit quickly (and silently) with whatever dignity I have left and find another bathroom.

Then a miracle happens. Her toilet flushes. I hear buttons being snapped closed. The stall door opens. The faucet at the sink is turned on. Even though she's still babbling on her phone (which I can only assume carries Typhoid now), I know the end is in sight. 

The water turns off. She ends her phone call. That's it...just go. GO! But she stands silently in front of the mirror. 

I am glaring at her through the cracks of my stall. And if I had any psychokinetic powers, she would have spontaneously combusted on the spot. 

Instead, she pulls a cosmetic bag out of her purse...and begins applying makeup. 



If Dante's Inferno has 7 levels of hell, this would be level 3 of mine. 

Suddenly the door opens. More footsteps. Level 4. 

"Hey girl, how are you doing?" 

Great, they know each other. Level 5. 

"You would not believe how crazy last night was!"

Five minutes of dialog commences. At this point, I know I'm trapped. I don't want the madwoman to see my face for fear we work on the same floor. Plus, we just don't need to be toilet friends. I also fear my bladder has slipped into a coma. 

When the bathroom is finally empty, I sigh heavily. My bladder descends back down to its proper position. Relief blessed by the gods envelopes me. I've somehow been spared levels 6 and 7.



I just have to explain the epic saga to coworkers who have possibly organized a search party by now...because who takes SO LONG just to pee?!  

But each day, the saga continues...



Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Happy Tax Day to YOU!

In honor of tax day, All Romance Ebooks is offering 25% off on select books for TODAY ONLY!

My publisher is participating. Go forth and buy!

And if you're not sure where to start browsing...




The Heart of Stonem Manor is only $2.99 & Awake is only $2.49!


Monday, April 13, 2015

#Rapture free days!

If you're interested, Rapture will be free this Wed (4/15) and Thur (4/16)!

Download to your heart's content!



Unfamiliar? Check out an excerpt below! Happy Free Book Buying!



EXCERPT:

March 2, 1995
Annie and I are taking turns sleeping in the children's room with them. Sleep is difficult. Derrick and Jaco still haven't returned. No sign of Mr. Pritchard either.

My worry has turned into near panic. I want to go out and look for them, but Bobby screams if I leave his sight. Annie seems scared as well, but she puts on a brave face. I don't want to leave her alone with both children. They still talk about Ralphie whispering to them, but he can't get past the barrier now. We try to occupy their minds with games and word puzzles. But our fear must be showing.

At least they do still sleep.

After I put them to bed, Annie and I talked by the fireplace at the corridor entrance. "You've been quiet the past few days," she remarked. I told her I was worried. All three of them had been gone too long. "Can I tell you something, Sister?" She pulled a sheet of notebook paper out of her pocket. "I was going through Derrick's office. Mostly cleaning—and somewhat snooping I guess. Anyway, I found this." She held out the paper for me. It was a penciled sketch of a half-naked woman, very detailed, especially the face. Derrick was talented, I'd have to admit that. Perhaps too talented. "Anything you want to talk about?"

Out of control, I started to cry. Where was my resolve to serve and obey God now? "You know, I'm not one to judge, Sister. You're young, pretty, strong . . .  Priest or not, the man's not blind to it."


I sobbed, unable to keep the fear and guilt at bay any longer. “I stopped him before it went too far. I did. I stopped him.” Where were my precious vows now? Admitting my sins to Annie, instead of praying for ALL of their safe returns. “I stopped him, but I didn’t want him to . . .”

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Mark your calendars! Rapture and Genesis are regularly priced at 99 cents (with the exception of this week's sale). Purgatory will be released on May 20th! 

And in May, join me as I close out the trilogy! XOXO


Monday, April 6, 2015

Upcoming Works Alert for 2015!

CONTENT MEANT FOR 18 YRS AND OLDER!

I'm excited to announce that I have 2 new projects coming together--and I'm hoping to get them both out before the end of the year!

WIP#1:
GENRE: NEW ADULT/PARANORMAL EROTICA**

BLACK WOODS MOAN (Lonely Shifters, Book 1)

(WARNING: This is not a full length novel, and it does contain graphic sex. This is Book 1 in a new series!)

Nick Banes is the proprietor of a bustling & rustic inn famous for its eccentric guests (mostly of the nonhuman variety). He is offered help in the form of Lena, a mysterious young woman desperate for a job. While the attraction between them in unmistakable, Nick keeps her at arm's length to protect his secret: he's a shape-shifter who stalks the woods as a panther.

But when Lena inadvertently stumbles onto the truth, Nick closes the gap between them and decides to claim her as his mate. While the plucky woman tries to deny his will, Nick makes it clear that he will do whatever it takes to keep his secret safe...and to make Lena his forever.



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WIP#2:
GENRE: NEW ADULT/PARANORMAL ROMANCE**

Via Wikipedia: succubus is a female demon or supernatural entity in folklore (traced back to medieval legend) that appears in dreams and takes the form of a woman in order to seduce men, usually through sexual activity. 

Kinky Brooders

Will and Calista form an unlikely friendship as children after Will's mother returns to her former hometown. But as the children grow older, it becomes apparent that Calista is not totally human: she's the offspring of a succubus and fallen warlock.

As Will and Calista enter adulthood, an old threat returns with the intent to murder Calista. Her very existence is found to be unlawful by the tribe of witches that she belongs to, but Will is determined to save her...if her appetite doesn't destroy them both in the process.



                                     *******************************************

**CONTENT MAY BE SUBJECT TO CHANGE.


Stay tuned for more news! If you are following the Diary Trilogy news from E.M. Bryant, take a sneak peek at Purgatory here!

Thursday, February 26, 2015

THE HEART OF STONEM MANOR: learn its secrets...and fall in love.




The Heart of Stonem Manor is a mystery romance with heavy paranormal undertones.

It's the story of the brooding and charming John Stonem, who lives alone in his mansion after the love of his life dies.





Fate appears to play a hand when he suddenly encounters a woman who looks exactly like his late wife.

One nearly botched kidnapping later, and single mother Hazel Loveless finds herself thrown into John's lonely world. Accompanied by her little daughter, Hazel is forced to revisit John's past in order to help him out of his grief...but the further into his world she travels, the harder it is to keep her growing attraction at bay.




To make matters worse, Hazel's daughter forms an eerie bond with a very creepy doll...a doll who seems to know a lot about what happened inside the mansion walls before Hazel arrived.



With a household full of secrets, will Hazel be the key to unleashing the truth of the past at last?



Learn its secrets...and fall in love.

AN EXCERPT:
Love for the Loveless 

"You, not extraordinary?" His words were roughened with passion.

"I'm just Hazel, John. There is no larger-than-life anything about me. I'm a mother. I wanted to be a writer, but all I do is scribble on notepad. I worked a bunch of lousy diner jobs. And now, I schlep coffee for the St. Jerome paper. At least, I did..."

"That's far from the truth, which you continue to shield from everyone. Tell me what you write about."

"No."

He brushed his lips against her neck before meeting her gaze. "I want you, Hazel. But I can see the hesitation in your eyes." He leaned closer to her, never breaking her gaze. "Let go of your reservations. Let me make love to you. Let me give you something you've never had."

"I've had sex before, John."

"But you've never made love with a man who would go to so much trouble just to have you."


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BUY LINKS:

AMAZON

SMASHWORDS

ALL ROMANCE

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Tuesday, February 10, 2015

BUFFY AND ANGEL: FINAL RITE


(Disclaimer: My paranormal story resume is about to include vampires--but the vampires I love are mostly from the 90s. This is an homage to my fave super-couple--and how I wish the show had ended...Please also note, I like to pretend Angel never had his own show...)

As an 8th grade girl, I remember rushing home to watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer. And as a woman in her 30s now, I'm saying, without a doubt, that no other program has replaced the superior wit, the intricate plots, and the wickedly perfect love stories that this show spun.



Most notably, of course, was the epic love story of Buffy and Angel. When Sarah Michelle Gellar's blonde and edgy Buffy locked lips with the sexy and mysterious David Boreanaz, who had been aiding her nocturnal vamp hunts, not a single lady in the 14-30 year age bracket could take a breath--and when Angel pulled back from that kiss and revealed those hungry fangs, not a single lady 14-30 could move.

Buffy had a lot of solid plot points, but the love story between the title character and fallen vampire Angel was a game-changer. It was Romeo and Juliet in the Hellmouth. It was a perfect retelling of Bram Stoker's Dracula, with a female empowered 90s edge. Maybe that's what set Buffy apart. The hero was always Buffy. The Buffy allies and Buffy villains changed throughout the course of the series. But every little girl who grew up watching Buffy was instilled with a sense of confidence, strength, and edge that had previously been reserved for the guys (Superman, Batman, insert male lead detective here). Wonder Woman was a great show, but it was campy and the outfit was a little too sexualized.

Buffy was just a high school girl born into a destiny she didn't want. She wanted to be a normal girl, nothing more. Instead, the fate of the world was thrust upon her shoulders--and her audience of teen girls wanted to hold her hand as she endured not just wicked battles with the undead, but real-life obstacles: disappointing her family...failing her driver's test...losing her virginity (which, if you haven't seen that episode, it and its aftermath will haunt and devastate you).



Buffy broke ground, too, by incorporating a full-fledged lesbian romance on the show: enter Willow, Buffy's best friend, and Tara--the girl who stole Willow's heart. I loved sweet Tara and I loved that the show propelled a more adult romance without all the cheesiness that had often been associated with gay and lesbian couples on TV.

But...I would have ended the series after the 4th season.

Buffy and Angel's relationship was beautiful and heartbreaking--and it's possibly why I'm still single (ha!--no, but really...maybe...). If you strip both of their superpowers away--her slaying abilities and his vampness--then it's a love story about two people just trying to survive in a complicated world.

And they lost. At least, that's what it felt like at the end of Season 4 (Graduation).



If I could rewrite that ending, I would. The mayor would be destroyed. The world would be saved. But instead of Angel leaving, he'd be waiting for Buffy outside the blown up high school...and they'd leave together. The finale of two people who sacrificed everything for everyone they loved should have been their happy ending.

And in my ending, Cordelia realizes her disdain for high school boys extends to boys in general. And her short romance with Xander was her subconscious way to get closer to Willow. Oh yes--that's my fantasy lesbian couple: Cordelia and Willow. The prom queen and the geek.

Xander finds love with a brainy lady librarian, who takes over the library in the rebuilt high school after Giles and Joyce elope and move to England. Spike and Dru spend their eternity in each other's misery--after Dru's soul is restored.

It's a happy ending for all--and while I did love Anya and Tara, I like my ending better for the sake of Buffy and Angel.

Still and all, Buffy the Vampire Slayer will forever be in my heart like the Twilight saga is for coming-of-age girls today. The difference I hope people will see is how much more powerful Buffy's story is.



She never needed saving. She did the saving. And her final reward should have been a long life with the vampire who owned her heart. <3

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Do you love paranormal love stories? Check out the tale of a forbidden romance between a sexy incubus and the girl next door. Awake.

*Photos courtesy of Google*